Monday, October 26, 2009
My name is Amanda and I'm an Approval Addict. For as long as I can remember, I have been an approval addict. This is the part where I am supposed to say how long I have been "clean" but I am not, it is a daily struggle. I so bad want to please others, and certainly don't want someone to be mad or think ill of me! *Gasp* Oh this is a dirty little secret. Even now my mind is thinking: "Oh what will they think?" "How will they view me now?" However, in my journey to be more transparent, I feel it is necessary to share with everyone this deep dark secret(a little dramatic? Maybe...). I'm Not Perfect. There I said it. Yes I am a big time people pleaser and find it extremely hard to say no. When I do occasionally say no, I am plagued with guilt. I over analyze EVERYTHING. This blog has been a while in the making, I've been pushing it back and pushing it back, but I know God knows better than I. Now it is out in the open and I feel exposed. However, in order to overcome an addiction, one has to admit he/she has the problem. In typing this I am holding myself accountable. I will overcome this entirely. I am not in total despair, I have found some help through reading Joyce Meyer's book on Approval Addiction. I have overcame some of this addiction. In my quest to be free, I am going to sit down and read it again. Obviously, I didn't absorb it well enough when I read it the first time. Sometimes one just has to read something over and over to get it to sink into his/her spirit, especially scripture(Romans 10:17). When it comes to growing spiritually, I am a slow learner, and a bit, okay a lot resistive. I do know that I can do all things through Christ(Philippians 4:13), and there is no condemnation in Christ(Romans 8:1)! These are a couple of the scriptures, that I am going to really meditate on, along with Joyce's book(which is full of scripture references). If there are others out there that are overcoming this/or have already overcame this addiction, please post a comment or email me via facebook. It's a journey, and we can all make it to the finish line together triumphantly.
- Amanda has been writing since her teen years. As a teen, a poem she wrote was published. This inspired her to write more. With each passing day she becomes more and more passionate about creating works of art with her words. When inspiration hits her, God puts new words in her heart. Ultimately, she hopes her words inspire and touch the lives of others as much as it does hers. Amanda believes the desire to write was put there by God, and she wishes to develop her skills in the days, weeks, months, and years to come.