Monday, November 23, 2009
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Throughout high school and college I was not a big studier. I made decent grades, but could have made better grades if I really would have applied myself. When it came to studying for the big test I would usually study the night before, trying to cram in a whole two or three chapters of material. On test day, I would go in the classroom flustered, vowing that I would not do that again. Upon receiving my test, I would answer a few questions with confidence. However on other questions, panic would set in because I did not remember the answer. When the test would get back, I would barely scrape by, or do fair, but could have done better. Instead of a B, I would get a C. Other times, I may not have passed the test at all.
As a Christian I have found myself in similar situations. Due to my lack of studying(the Word), when a test would come my way(from the enemy, James 1:13) panic would start to set in, because I didn't have the word in my heart. I hadn't studied enough. So here, I am scrambling to look up the word and get it into my spirit, and at the same time I am being attacked by my circumstance(s). It's harder to learn when you are being attacked, wouldn't you agree? Since I have realized what the Word has in it, I have had to make a real conscious effort to study it. I won't lie, it has been tough. As I sit down and open the Bible, my mind wonders, and I begin thinking about other things, like what to cook for dinner. It has gotten easier, but sometimes I find myself very distracted and I have to tell myself to focus(yes, I say it aloud). However, when I gain victory in an area of my life, and I know that it was because of the Power of God's Word, I feel temendous! Occasionally in high school/college, I would be prepared for a test, and boy did it feel good to pass that test with flying colors. That's what I want to do, I want to pass life's test(s) with flying colors. I want to be prepared, and not barely get by. Though it may take some discipline on our part, in the end we will be thankful.
Monday, October 26, 2009
My name is Amanda and I'm an Approval Addict. For as long as I can remember, I have been an approval addict. This is the part where I am supposed to say how long I have been "clean" but I am not, it is a daily struggle. I so bad want to please others, and certainly don't want someone to be mad or think ill of me! *Gasp* Oh this is a dirty little secret. Even now my mind is thinking: "Oh what will they think?" "How will they view me now?" However, in my journey to be more transparent, I feel it is necessary to share with everyone this deep dark secret(a little dramatic? Maybe...). I'm Not Perfect. There I said it. Yes I am a big time people pleaser and find it extremely hard to say no. When I do occasionally say no, I am plagued with guilt. I over analyze EVERYTHING. This blog has been a while in the making, I've been pushing it back and pushing it back, but I know God knows better than I. Now it is out in the open and I feel exposed. However, in order to overcome an addiction, one has to admit he/she has the problem. In typing this I am holding myself accountable. I will overcome this entirely. I am not in total despair, I have found some help through reading Joyce Meyer's book on Approval Addiction. I have overcame some of this addiction. In my quest to be free, I am going to sit down and read it again. Obviously, I didn't absorb it well enough when I read it the first time. Sometimes one just has to read something over and over to get it to sink into his/her spirit, especially scripture(Romans 10:17). When it comes to growing spiritually, I am a slow learner, and a bit, okay a lot resistive. I do know that I can do all things through Christ(Philippians 4:13), and there is no condemnation in Christ(Romans 8:1)! These are a couple of the scriptures, that I am going to really meditate on, along with Joyce's book(which is full of scripture references). If there are others out there that are overcoming this/or have already overcame this addiction, please post a comment or email me via facebook. It's a journey, and we can all make it to the finish line together triumphantly.
- Amanda has been writing since her teen years. As a teen, a poem she wrote was published. This inspired her to write more. With each passing day she becomes more and more passionate about creating works of art with her words. When inspiration hits her, God puts new words in her heart. Ultimately, she hopes her words inspire and touch the lives of others as much as it does hers. Amanda believes the desire to write was put there by God, and she wishes to develop her skills in the days, weeks, months, and years to come.